Hmm, I think it’s blog time

You know, I’ve not written anything about  the last couple months of my life.  I think I ought to. 

 Well, for starters I’m starting to take a kind of leadership role in my school.  I am the Editor-in-Chief of the Hurricane High School student newspaper, the Redskin Rundown (RR).  I’m also running to be Vice-President of the Chess Club. 

Somehow, I don’t take any joy in either of those things.  It jsut seems like it’s not mine to take joy in.  I think if I do, I’ll become prideful in them (I’ve done it before) and I’ll start thinking that it’s my skill or whatever that gave these to me.  They’re not mine, they’re not for me to claim.  I really don’t think anything is mine, and I don’t think it really should be.  I want to be a humble man. 

Also, for the last few weeks I keep getting hit with this sense that I basically suck.  I don’t think it’s anything someone’s said, I think it’s a realization of my own lack of holiness along with Satan trying to exploit it.  I’m seeing more and more of my sins, even as I commit them.  They’re mostly rebellion and laziness, both rooted in pride.  I’ve just started asking God every day to  make me more like him.  I can’t.  I’m not able, I’m not worthy enough to do it.  But God is.  So I let him, and he teaches me how to let go of myself and let him make me  the person I was born to be.  I want to fulfill what he has planned for me, what he  has in store for me.  I just keep getting this sense that I’ve failed, I’ve failed big time.  I see several things that I’ve failed at, I fail miserably every day.  It’s this huge battle, a battle I almost feel alone in save God.  Again, I put no blame on anyone save the Enemy and myself.  I may  have been placed here to understand it, aloneness.  But, I ran across a quote by someone that went, “I’m not leaving. This is the hill I will die on,”  If this is to be my lot in life, the lot to simply keep standing and advance when it hurts, then it is the lot I’ve been placed in and I  will give glory to  God for it.  I will fail.  I have failed.  But God succeeds. 

See, I don’t want this post to be about me and my failures, but about God and his triumph.  I am indeed a fallen, crippled, weak human, but he is a perfect, whole, powerful God who makes me perfect, whole, and powerful.  This is the  purpose he has planned for each of us, not that he has desired the  fallenness of man but that he has triumphed over it.  this is the  great triumph of my life, whatever I do.  Not that I’ve done any great thing, but that God has done a great thing in me.  I am not a good person,  but God is and he has made me into a good  person like Jesus.  This is him that you see, the good in me.  Know that any evil that I have committed and will commit is not of God. Period. 

May you be blessed my brothers and sisters.

The Song we can now sing

In Isaiah 6, we see the throneroom of God for the first time:

 1 In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. 2 Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. 3 And they were calling to one another:
       “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;
       the whole earth is full of his glory.”

 4 At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.

Isaiah 6:1-4

As Mark Buchanan points out in his book, “The Holy Wild,” Isaiah can’t sing HOLY HOLY HOLY yet, and this is why:

5 “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.”
Isaiah 6:5

We are a fallen race.  We are unclean, but watch what happens next:

6 Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.”
Isaiah 6:6-7

But now, we have been given the mediator between man and God

19 “Man is also chastened with pain on his bed,
      And with strong pain in many of his bones,

 20 So that his life abhors bread,
      And his soul succulent food.

 21 His flesh wastes away from sight,
      And his bones stick out which once were not seen.

 22 Yes, his soul draws near the Pit,
      And his life to the executioners.

 23 “If there is a messenger for him,
      A mediator, one among a thousand,
      To show man His uprightness,

 24 Then He is gracious to him, and says,

      ’ Deliver him from going down to the Pit;
      I have found a ransom’;
Job 33:19-24

The next time we see the throneroom is in Revelation:

Revelation 4

The Throne Room of Heaven

 1 After these things I looked, and behold, a door standing open in heaven. And the first voice which I heard was like a trumpet speaking with me, saying, “Come up here, and I will show you things which must take place after this.”
2 Immediately I was in the Spirit; and behold, a throne set in heaven, and One sat on the throne. 3 And He who sat there was^[a] like a jasper and a sardius stone in appearance; and there was a rainbow around the throne, in appearance like an emerald. 4 Around the throne were twenty-four thrones, and on the thrones I saw twenty-four elders sitting, clothed in white robes; and they had crowns^[b] of gold on their heads. 5 And from the throne proceeded lightnings, thunderings, and voices.^[c] Seven lamps of fire were burning before the throne, which are the^[d] seven Spirits of God.
6 Before the throne there was^[e] a sea of glass, like crystal. And in the midst of the throne, and around the throne, were four living creatures full of eyes in front and in back. 7 The first living creature was like a lion, the second living creature like a calf, the third living creature had a face like a man, and the fourth living creature was like a flying eagle. 8 The four living creatures, each having six wings, were full of eyes around and within. And they do not rest day or night, saying:

      ” Holy, holy, holy,^[f]
      Lord God Almighty,
      Who was and is and is to come!”

9 Whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to Him who sits on the throne, who lives forever and ever, 10 the twenty-four elders fall down before Him who sits on the throne and worship Him who lives forever and ever, and cast their crowns before the throne, saying:
       11 ” You are worthy, O Lord,^[g]
      To receive glory and honor and power;
      For You created all things,
      And by Your will they exist^[h] and were created.”

Revelation 5

The Lamb Takes the Scroll

 1 And I saw in the right hand of Him who sat on the throne a scroll written inside and on the back, sealed with seven seals. 2 Then I saw a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, “Who is worthy to open the scroll and to loose its seals?” 3 And no one in heaven or on the earth or under the earth was able to open the scroll, or to look at it.
4 So I wept much, because no one was found worthy to open and read^[a] the scroll, or to look at it. 5 But one of the elders said to me, “Do not weep. Behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has prevailed to open the scroll and to loose^[b] its seven seals.”
6 And I looked, and behold,^[c] in the midst of the throne and of the four living creatures, and in the midst of the elders, stood a Lamb as though it had been slain, having seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven Spirits of God sent out into all the earth. 7 Then He came and took the scroll out of the right hand of Him who sat on the throne.

Worthy Is the Lamb

   
8 Now when He had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each having a harp, and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. 9 And they sang a new song, saying:

      ” You are worthy to take the scroll,
      And to open its seals;
      For You were slain,
      And have redeemed us to God by Your blood
      Out of every tribe and tongue and people and nation,
       10 And have made us^[d] kings^[e] and priests to our God;
      And we^[f] shall reign on the earth.”

11 Then I looked, and I heard the voice of many angels around the throne, the living creatures, and the elders; and the number of them was ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands, 12 saying with a loud voice:

      ” Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
      To receive power and riches and wisdom,
      And strength and honor and glory and blessing!”

13 And every creature which is in heaven and on the earth and under the earth and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, I heard saying:

      ” Blessing and honor and glory and power
      Be to Him who sits on the throne,
      And to the Lamb, forever and ever!”^[g]

14 Then the four living creatures said, “Amen!” And the twenty-four^[h] elders fell down and worshiped Him who lives forever and ever.^[i]

^{Now, because of the worthiness of the Lamb who was slain, we may now join in the chorus of angels and the entire universe as we sing, “HOLY}

HOLY HOLY IS THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!”  Every time you say, “God is good,” or “Holy holy is our God Almighty!” or, “I want to see your face!” or, “We cry Holy Holy Holy,” we all, we people of formerly unclean lips, are joining in the song we are not worthy of singing.  We are joining in the song John heard. 

Will you be ruined?  Let him ruin you.  Step into the presence of God and be utterly torn apart in his presence as his holy and pure holiness shows us our unholiness and we scream, “Woe to me!  I am ruined!”

Oh Lord, ruin us all!  Break us to pieces and show us your holiness.  Break me! 

Holy!

Violent Video Games as Ministry Tools?

Word has reached my ears that a rather considerable debate is revolving around the use of violent video games such as Halo 3 in church activities to promote fellowship.  Here is my response:

I don’t think playing Halo (or any violent video game for that matter) is in itself a sin. Now, it can be taken to ceratian extents, or used in certain ways that would be a sin (playing Halo when you’re grounded from video games, for instance). I think video games, like many media outlets, are simply neutral and can go either way.

The point will be made, however, that there are video games that portray sexuality in very unsympathetic ways, and the question would be whether there is a difference between these games and violent video games. The point is valid on the surface, but when examined closer there are indeed differences. In the first place, playing a game like Lesiure Suit Larry, or Playboy Mansion is used expressively to whet the lustful appetite, which is definately a sin. On the other hand, a game like Halo is based upon simple competition, which is no sin in of itself. That’s my basic argument.

I spoke to a friend of mine who is a phenominal pastor abou this and he brought up a very good point. H reminded me that the Bible is full of violence (aka, half the Old Testament and most of Revelation and a good bit of the Gospels), including forms of violence which are acceptable to God (defending Israel from invasion, for example, among other things). If then violent video games (many of which, like Halo 3, have violence which is biblically supported) may not be used for Christian fellowship, then neither may the Bible. Yes, I agree that some games take it too far, and many individuals would be better off not playing it (an ex-convict for torture and murder, for example, would be better off not playing Condemned), however, in most cases of Christian fellowship, it is up to parents to pay attention to the ratings of the games played (i.e., a game with an M rating should not have attendants who are 10 and under). And those old enough to make their own decisions (those living out of the home) can make those decisions themselves. Yes, of course people will turn up at these functions who will be better off not playing a certain game, but (assuming they are there with mostly good external reasons like permission from parents) these are especially those we wish to minister to. However, if, say, a youth pastor knows that a certain teen has been forbidden by his/her parents from playing a game hosted at a certain activity has come to play that game, that youth pastor would be wise to call the parents and talk to the teen who is obviously comitting rebellion against his parents’ authority (bluntly, sinning).

Basically, that’s my take on this situation.

Oswald Chambers: My Utmost for His Highest

October 9, 2007

Building on the Atonement

 

. . . present . . . your members as instruments of righteousness to God —Romans 6:13

I cannot save and sanctify myself; I cannot make atonement for sin; I cannot redeem the world; I cannot right what is wrong, purify what is impure, or make holy what is unholy. That is all the sovereign work of God. Do I have faith in what Jesus Christ has done? He has made the perfect atonement for sin. Am I in the habit of constantly realizing it? The greatest need we have is not to do things, but to believe things. The redemption of Christ is not an experience, it is the great act of God which He has performed through Christ, and I have to build my faith on it. If I construct my faith on my own experience, I produce the most unscriptural kind of life— an isolated life, with my eyes focused solely on my own holiness. Beware of that human holiness that is not based on the atonement of the Lord. It has no value for anything except a life of isolation— it is useless to God and a nuisance to man. Measure every kind of experience you have by our Lord Himself. We cannot do anything pleasing to God unless we deliberately build on the foundation of the atonement by the Cross of Christ.

The atonement of Jesus must be exhibited in practical, unassuming ways in my life. Every time I obey, the absolute deity of God is on my side, so that the grace of God and my natural obedience are in perfect agreement. Obedience means that I have completely placed my trust in the atonement, and my obedience is immediately met by the delight of the supernatural grace of God.

Beware of the human holiness that denies the reality of the natural life— it is a fraud. Continually bring yourself to the trial or test of the atonement and ask, “Where is the discernment of the atonement in this, and in that?”

Unity

I’ve found just now the sourceof why I love many things.  Here are some things that come to mine:

 Writing
Dancing
Acting
The Military

I love each of these for the exact same reason that I love the others.  I love writing because it takes many ideas and links them together in such a way that it provides something to either enjoy, think about, or learn from.  Dancing because it takes many movements and, along with timing, brings them together to form a dance piece.  Acting does something similar, but it takes different emotions, words, actions, events, and more to create a story, a life, a reality. 

But perhapse the highest example I can give (without giving my point away completely) is the military.  Or, rather, a hightly coordinated military.  Let me describe a scene that makes me dance inside:

The enemy soldiers are entrenched, awaiting the attack.  Suddenly, a loud whistling noise is heard and explosions tear the line to pieces.  Voices fill the air as machine-gun fire and explosions turn what was once a defensive point into a mess of earth, bodies, and bullets.  The attackers advance, supported by tanks, and occupy their newly captured area.  Apaches (helicopters) fly in overhead and pursue the retreating enemy strafing them as they go. 

What happened here was this, an artillery attack hit the defensive point right before the infantry entered the enemy’s line of sight.  This way, they had the advantage of surprise as well as the cover provided by the artillery (dust, noise, fear, etc) and could capture the point with ease.  The tanks provided extra strength, as well as a deterrant to any infantry wanting to counter-attack.  The Apaches mopped-up the rest of the enemy, thus finally securing the sector. 

In other words, by working together, they accieved something greater than they could have alone. 

 I love unity, and this is what God desires the Church to be like:  unified and coordinated in the goal God has set out for us.  He alone coordinates us, but we cannot be an effective army if we are not willing to be placed where we are supposed to be, do the job assigned to us while we are there, and trust those who are positioned in different posts to do their jobs.  That is what we must be like.  Otherwise, we will retreat and fall, but united we will advance and be more than  conquerors in Jesus Christ. 

Brother in Arms
Salaam-Peace

wept

I see so much suffering.  My heart is so heavy, and this isn’t even the smallest part of it!  I see lives destroyed, hearts broken, violence, agony, agony, hurt and pain.  It’s everywhere!  With all I see, my heart so longs to reach out to them, so longs to hold them in my arms and comfort them.  But it is not my place to reach out, and yet my heart yearns.  I see a fight, and my heart breaks.  I hear dispute, and I break down inside.  I hear cruelty, and they won’t listen, they won’t listen at all!  How long oh Lord?  How long until every tear is wiped away? I yearn, I long , I desire for our lives to be restored, our wounds bound up.  And we have only to hold out ourselves to him and he will bring us all we have been longing for.  I feel loss, ache, sorrow, betrayal, rejection. 

 Come to me!  I am gentle, and humble in heart, and I will give you rest for your souls!

Woe to you Korazin!  Woe to you Besthaida!  If the miracles that had been performed in you had been performed in Tyre, and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes! 

Oh Jerusalem, Jerusalem.  You who kill the prophets, and stone those sent to you.  How often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wing, but you were not willing.  Look!  Your house is left to you desolate. 

“Welcome to Our World”

Tears are falling, hearts are breaking
How we need to hear from God
You’ve been promised, we’ve been waiting

Welcome Holy Child
Welcome Holy Child

Hope that you don’t mind our manger
How I wish we would have known
But long-awaited Holy Stranger
Make Yourself at home
Please make Yourself at home
Bring Your peace into our violence
Bid our hungry souls be filled
Word now breaking Heaven’s silence

Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world

Fragile finger sent to heal us
Tender brow prepared for thorn
Tiny heart whose blood will save us
Unto us is born
Unto us is born
So wrap our injured flesh around You
Breathe our air and walk our sod
Rob our sin and make us holy

Perfect Son of God
Perfect Son of God
Welcome to our world

The last part about wrapping our injured flesh around Christ isn’t just about him becoming a man, but him making we, who are wounded and sickly, into wonderous, luminous beings who will be like God. 

The insane part of being a Christian

I’ve found recently that I’ve been taking a lot of risks.  For instance, in speech class we were given a chapter that taught things I seriously disagreed with.  When we were supposed to write something on the part I disagreed with, I wrote my disagreeance instead of what the book said. 

I’ve recently been asked to answer hard questions, so I gave hard answers. 

And what’s strange is, I’m finding that it’s more like me to do this.  I feel unnatural not attacking a false idea when it is presented to me.  I feel unnatural being timid instead of bold.  I feel unnatural not defending the Gospel when it is attacked. 

 I feel unnatural as a kitten, because I’m the son of a Lion. 

Rest

Recently I’ve been full of questions and have had a lack of answers.  I wanted peace, but I was hit hard with confusion, lonliness, and jealousy. 

 But now…

Now God’s doing something and I’m finally opening up to him. 

Psalm 24:7
Lift up your heads, O you gates; be lifted up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in.

It’s so much better now, I’m at peace and God is teaching me.  I really need him, I really, absolutely need him. 

Anyone want to hang out sometime?  I’d love to just sit down and chat with someone. 

 Pray for me. 

The Council of God

Psalm 73

BOOK III : Psalms 73-89

 1A psalm of Asaph.
      Surely God is good to Israel,
       to those who are pure in heart. 2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
       I had nearly lost my foothold.

 3 For I envied the arrogant
       when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

 4 They have no struggles;
       their bodies are healthy and strong. ^[a]

 5 They are free from the burdens common to man;
       they are not plagued by human ills.

 6 Therefore pride is their necklace;
       they clothe themselves with violence.

 7 From their callous hearts comes iniquity ^[b] ;
       the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.

 8 They scoff, and speak with malice;
       in their arrogance they threaten oppression.

 9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
       and their tongues take possession of the earth.

 10 Therefore their people turn to them
       and drink up waters in abundance. ^[c]

 11 They say, “How can God know?
       Does the Most High have knowledge?”

 12 This is what the wicked are like—
       always carefree, they increase in wealth.

 13 Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;
       in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

 14 All day long I have been plagued;
       I have been punished every morning.

 15 If I had said, “I will speak thus,”
       I would have betrayed your children.

 16 When I tried to understand all this,
       it was oppressive to me

 17 till I entered the sanctuary of God;
       then I understood their final destiny.

 18 Surely you place them on slippery ground;
       you cast them down to ruin.

 19 How suddenly are they destroyed,
       completely swept away by terrors!

 20 As a dream when one awakes,
       so when you arise, O Lord,
       you will despise them as fantasies.

 21 When my heart was grieved
       and my spirit embittered,

 22 I was senseless and ignorant;
       I was a brute beast before you.

 23 Yet I am always with you;
       you hold me by my right hand.

 24 You guide me with your counsel,
       and afterward you will take me into glory.

 25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
       And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

 26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
       but God is the strength of my heart
       and my portion forever.

 27 Those who are far from you will perish;
       you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

 28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
       I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
       I will tell of all your deeds.

Yea, this is me.