I’m tired of not showing myself to people.  I’ve always had this problem of holding back, of not moving forward by myself, of not…doing what I’m supposed to be doing.  I fear…that I’m a coward.  But I don’t want it to be that way any longer.  I want to grapple with my fear, crush it and throw it to the ground and move FORWARD!  Always, ALWAYS when I mean to move forward, something stops me, “There’s a million reasons you aren’t good enough to do that,” or, “You might mess up,” or, the one that brings my anger to the boiling point, “What if they don’t want you?”

*Slams fist on the table*

How does one conquer fear?  You move forward and take it by force.  What if I have to go alone?  Then I  will move forward and let Him catch me. 

22Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24but the boat was already a considerable distance^[a] from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

 25During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

 27But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

 28“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

 29“Come,” he said.

   Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

 31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

 32And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Matthew 14:22-32

I want to walk on the water.